Daily Marlena Rant:

Dear Brillare Hair Academy,

Thank you, in behalf of Cosmetology Schools everywhere, for fucking over poor broke ass students. Thank you for giving us the experience of working in a sweat shop and thinking of us as large walking dollar signs. When we leave school to go to our actual jobs we are so exhausted that we can barely function. It’s so nice to know after pulling these daily doubles there will be absolutely no understanding whatsoever if we are 1 minute late. Not even if there is a death in the family. Thank you for the priceless education of doing the same root retouch and full-head highlights every day.

Today I found myself in one of those quality lose-lose situations. Woke-up early. Got ready and out the door on time. Missed clocking in by 1 minute. That time clock haunts my dreams. When I am driving through the 40 minutes of bumper to bumper traffic, I envision that clock and send out all the positive, 'secret'ly energy that it will say 8:07am on it’s god forsaken blue light up screen when I get to school. This morning it was a taunting 8:08 am and my sad panda-self left the building as a fail. Let’s be honest. It’s hair school. Aren’t we taking ourselves a little too seriously? I just really appreciate how you get your students into this losing battle of having to complete our programs within the allotted time, but don’t allow us to clock in. Lose – lose: quit school and still owe for the whole program with nothing to show for it, or finish weeks after I’m supposed to and pay thousands of dollars in overtime fees. The thing is I made it to school. Just punish me by making me wait an hour to clock-in or something. Give me a perm or something brutal. But no. Another day lost. Add that $50 to my overtime bill. No big deal. I’m obviously loaded. That’s why I’m in school.

Just wanted to say atta boy Brillare! Way to tailor your program to individuals that live with their parents, don’t have a job, and can just dedicate their entire existence to this ‘quality’ education for a year. You really take that 5% of student’s interest to heart. High fives all around.

Sincerely,

Grouchy Marlena

(the vocal alter-ego)