Life after cosmetology school is much like what I’d imagine Purgatory to be like… It’s over, but there’s all this lingering “unfinished business” stuff. Took and passed all my Boards and still have this unsettling… what now? Type feeling.
(I feel like I should do this in front of my refrigerator as well. Some may call it self-abuse... to me it's simply my only motivator.)
Not that I have anything to complain about. Ry and I have been together for about 9 months now… and it has been the most ridiculously healthy relationship I have ever experienced. I now understand why monogamy can work… because let’s be honest up to this point I’ve been very skeptical. I may have been able to empathize with individuals that cheated on their significant other, because it was a system that I felt was doomed to fail. One person? I get bored and over people by the second! But not anymore. Newp. This girl’s on lock down (for once).
I am finally understanding the “he’s worth it to me not to do anything to jeopardize our relationship” concept. Maybe that’s my inner old person influenced by Golden Girl’s re-runs. Actually… not even Golden Girl’s now that Friend’s episodes are on Nick at Night. I can just be old while relating to shows I watched in high school.
Directing The Pajama Game has been fun… the script was written by two men in the 50’s and apparently they believed the only way to get a woman was to border-line rape her! No wonder men and women seem like they are from different planets. The girls are constantly saying “no” which apparently in the 50’s meant “try harder” or “grab me and throw me next to a tree.” And they are supposed to GIGGLE when the man does that to them. Eww. That era screwed everything up. I don’t think girls expect guys to be FBI agents anymore. When I say I’m hungry… it means I’m hungry… not fishing for a “your not fat compliment”. When I say don’t touch me… don’t freaking touch me. I will NOT giggle. Swear to God.
Other than the awkward scripting… it’s been fun. I love the to see everyone’s drama queen come out through the process… including my own. I watch these kids pretend like I’m asking them to do a triple back flip split… and all it I’ve asked for is a turn step-ball-change. And they’re running around… breathing heavily… like I’m trying to kill them…. And I stare at them and wonder “what the hell is wrong with this child?” Then I remember… I am working with theater kids. They are here BECAUSE they are drama queens. So I have to take a deep breath and watch them exhaust themselves. After I get to that point it’s pretty funny to watch. They make their lives so much harder that it needs to be by making everything SO dramatic… ALL the time. Reminds me of teenager me…. Gag.
Other than the play I am enjoying teaching at Hovland. I don’t believe it’s my calling in life… but it is payin’ the bills… barely… and at least I am not a cranky old wretch that hates her life. But let’s be honest… I’m innately cranky… and old depending on whom I am standing next to at the time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked by my piano students how many kids I have…. Um none! Duh. They look at me like… what is wrong with this lady? And then I tell them that I have ovarian cancer and move on quickly…. Let them deal with that information in their own time. Muahaha.
So pretty much in my current state of purgatory… I look at jobs online during the day… trying to find the “perfect fit”. Waiting for that ad that says... "hey... do you like writing music, stories, doing wedding hair, being involved in plays, and sitting around making dry, sarcastic comments? We've got the perfect job for you where you can make tons of money doing completely useless creative stuff!"
It’s dumb because I know I won’t have time to do a second job until after Christmas… but I still do it… every day just looking for the perfect fit to get myself moving on to the next phase or chapter… or whatever. Quit my day job for the thing I love most. Mario makes it look so damn easy. “look at me.. I’m Mario! I get fulfillment out of running around and hitting my head on blocks and jumping on mushroom guys… “ Good for you Mario! Stop rubbing it in!
Peace and Love
Kris
