A Fine Kettle of Fish

Things are pretty good right now. Obviously had to get a little Grouchy Marlena out of the system this morning, but life is good.

Ah to be young and in love.

And obviously by young I mean relative to 70. If I was standing next to a 70 year old Ry and I would be young and in love.  And crazy whippersnappers making foolish decisions. Standing at my station at school, however, I feel like old grandma river, way too old to be figuring out what true love is for the first time. (Unless that one really old lady that is going to school there is standing nearby… just to be honest).

So here’s what I’ve known: people are people, they don’t change. But what I’ve found is that when you find one that you’re compatible with... that’s a Yahtzee my friend. The Yahtzee of life. My guess is I could have made my previous relationships work, and maybe eventually we would’ve found love and compromise after years of pain, self-loathing, and therapy. Of course opposites attract. But if you can find someone in that 1% of the population that you are truly compatible with…  it turns out that it is stupidly easy. It’s stupid how much work I was putting into my other relationships, just banging my head against a wall trying to find understanding and mutual ground. But I guess 27 is better than 70. So I’ll take it, and am so happy for the chance to finally get a Yatzee. All five dice aligning with the same number.  The odds are what, 1 out of 22? So like 4%? Ya I’d say I went through about 22 guys to find a Yahtzee. That makes me sound like a whore but it’s true. I am so jealous of the people that get that shit on their first roll. Those high school sweethearts that are still holding hands. Not the ones that you can see there is animosity about 1 foot deep but the ones that are just enjoying life because they have that center. That person that grounds them in a good way. No bitterness. No nagging. Just that someone they call home.

I may have love diarrhea right now. It’s kind of a problem but I can’t help it. It’s been a really amazing journey. I had to let myself shatter to get to this point. And by shatter I mean completely. Had to let EVERYTHING go. Including myself. But man I am so glad that I did. He’s worth it. Finally someone that makes all of the bullshit worth it.

Daily Marlena Rant:

Dear Brillare Hair Academy,

Thank you, in behalf of Cosmetology Schools everywhere, for fucking over poor broke ass students. Thank you for giving us the experience of working in a sweat shop and thinking of us as large walking dollar signs. When we leave school to go to our actual jobs we are so exhausted that we can barely function. It’s so nice to know after pulling these daily doubles there will be absolutely no understanding whatsoever if we are 1 minute late. Not even if there is a death in the family. Thank you for the priceless education of doing the same root retouch and full-head highlights every day.

Today I found myself in one of those quality lose-lose situations. Woke-up early. Got ready and out the door on time. Missed clocking in by 1 minute. That time clock haunts my dreams. When I am driving through the 40 minutes of bumper to bumper traffic, I envision that clock and send out all the positive, 'secret'ly energy that it will say 8:07am on it’s god forsaken blue light up screen when I get to school. This morning it was a taunting 8:08 am and my sad panda-self left the building as a fail. Let’s be honest. It’s hair school. Aren’t we taking ourselves a little too seriously? I just really appreciate how you get your students into this losing battle of having to complete our programs within the allotted time, but don’t allow us to clock in. Lose – lose: quit school and still owe for the whole program with nothing to show for it, or finish weeks after I’m supposed to and pay thousands of dollars in overtime fees. The thing is I made it to school. Just punish me by making me wait an hour to clock-in or something. Give me a perm or something brutal. But no. Another day lost. Add that $50 to my overtime bill. No big deal. I’m obviously loaded. That’s why I’m in school.

Just wanted to say atta boy Brillare! Way to tailor your program to individuals that live with their parents, don’t have a job, and can just dedicate their entire existence to this ‘quality’ education for a year. You really take that 5% of student’s interest to heart. High fives all around.

Sincerely,

Grouchy Marlena

(the vocal alter-ego)